Catching on: have you ever been so caught up in a good cause that you lost sight of the people around you? Take a little time today to lay aside your agenda and listen for what God is asking you.

Since college, tasks can take a priority over people and being an introvert plays in to that. I thrive off solitude and creating, which can be beneficial or destructive in any given circumstance. I am a recovering Type A task oriented person and constantly ask God to open my eyes to those around me, to really see. Especially to see my children. Those closest in proximity and heart.

Taking care of small children can be draining and exhausting and transitions, even the smallest things like upgrading from crib to toddler bed can feel like moving mountains.

Towards the end of summer and beginning of fall Jude, just over eighteen months, decided it was time to make that switch. It was time to get a big boy bed, like his sister's. After climbing out of his crib and refusing to sleep, though he was tired, so unlike himself, it was time to give in. 

My friend, knowing of our predicament, tagged me in a post on a Facebook children's site that was selling an identical bed to my daughter's. Perfect timing. 

We purchased the bed and the sweet lady even threw in a brand new Cinderella dress up dress, which my daughter had just been praying and asking God for a few days before.

The weeks that followed were hard. My son refused to stay in his bed and was tired and crying and I was starting to mirror him, while caring for an infant and active four year old. I was praying Galatians 6:9 regularly: let us not grow weary of doing good, for in the proper time we will reap a harvest and looking for the good because life was good, just harder.  

Early October found me sitting in a prayer room, while a new friend prayed for me and the Holy Spirit reminded me to see my children. To see truly see them. To see their eyes and their needs and their wants. To see their hears. To see past the outbursts and tasks at hand and look at them how He does.

He reminded me that as I delight in my children, he also delights in me. He sees me. He sees them. And it was this beautiful reminder of opening my eyes to my children, not their requests for more snacks or putting them back to bed for the hundredth time but to see them for who they are now and not what they are doing, whether positive or negative. Simply, to love them as they are.

And with that, he gave me new eyes to see each one. Each perfectly formed person, bubbling with personality and laughter and love and a little crazy.

There is a fine line between caring for the tasks of children and putting out fires and enjoying the entirety of mamahood. It is that line that can make it easy to miss out on truly seeing them or hearing their hearts, especially during transitions, which seem to be the only constant. And it just may be, that people the closest are the hardest to truly see, until we stand back and take a breath to focus and ask God to give us a fresh look.

Here's to new sight for the people around you. 

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This is part of a 365 day blogging series through Savor by Shauna Niequist. If you would like to blog along, whether daily or weekly, I would love to have you for the journey; be sure to link back to the post. And if you are not a blogger, you can join along, too. Just leave your response and answers in the comments.

There is something almost magical about the day you become a parent.  A certain amount of euphoria mixed with anticipation and joy beyond description. My oldest brother recently had his first baby, which got me thinking about the emotions entailed with this event.

Not knowing when baby will come is all part of the fun, whether via adoption or birth. These days, you get to plan practically neverything. But with babies, most do not get to chose the day of arrival. The excitement builds and the thought, today could be the day, emanates your thoughts. The biggest day of your life. More exciting than Christmas morning as a child. You patiently await the birth of your precious gift that God has graciously lavished on you.

The gift that will change your status to parent and will add family to your description. The gift that changes a room in your home to a nursery and sprinkles it with baby gear.

I cannot imagine how God feels when we turn to him. When we truly turn our hearts to him and become his son or daughter. The bible says that angels celebrate when one sinner turns from his ways (Luke 15:10).

It goes on to say that he has adopted us. We are his children.

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 1 John 3:1

As I was writing this, Matthew West's song, Hello, My Name is, ran through my head with that verse.  I know, another Matthew West song. He has amazing lyrics, and though he does not frequent my playlist often, the lyrics always stick. Have a listen.. 

Hello, my name is child of the one true King. I've been saved, I've been changed, and I have been set free. "Amazing Grace" is the song I sing Hello, my name is child of the one true King. What love the Father has lavished upon us, that we should be called His children. I am a child of the one true King.

The bond between a parent and child is great. How much more so with the creator of the universe who has so intricately made you? Since becoming a parent, my relationship with God has shifted and has allowed me to view him in a different light. Seeing that he really knows best. That he has the best plans there can ever be for my life. Seeing that discipline is necessary and not easy for either party involved. Seeing that my strengths and weaknesses are there for a reason and how to best use them. 

I pray that if you find yourself far from God, that you would see his out stretched hand and his big, warm, fatherly embrace to welcome you back. I pray that if you are a parent, that you would see your children as God views them, as well as yourself. You are unique and your relationship with your child and God is, too. 

Here's to adoption and returning to God the father. And parents and children and loveliness. 

As I wrote recently about seeing beauty in yourself, it made me think about a Women of Faith conference event I attended several years ago. Sheila Walsh spoke of witnessing her mom speaking badly of herself. She put herself down and was not happy with her own appearance and yet would compliment Sheila. The impact it made on her as a child seeing her mom so unhappy with her appearance was immense. I cannot recall all the details of it but the message is clear.

Putting yourself down in front of your child takes away from her seeing the beauty in herself, as she looks up to you for guidance.

Life happens in the moments, the little ones that you just about miss, with two little eyes watching you closely. The things you say and do become ingrained in to their memory and a part of who they are: the way you pronounce words, the way you comb your hair, the way you eat your food and the silly way you move your hands when you talk. All of your mannerisms, for better or worse, get compiled in these little people. Your own disciples. 

With my affinity for singing, bath time commemorates with my own version of the chorus from "I Feel Pretty," with Penny in my arms, gazing at ourselves in the mirror. I know, cheesy. It is one of those things that just happened and now simply cannot be missed, her in my arms and all, even though she is more than half my height. The fact that her baby bath was on the bathroom sink, with her mirror right there probably had something to do with it.

I think it is in these moments that children feel loved and know that they are valued. As a mama it is crucial to instill worth on your child, especially in a society that degrades women and is forced to compare themselves to fake, photoshoped ladies. The power of words play an important role. What you do not say may have more impact than what you. No mama wants to hear how her daughter cannot stand her shoulders or her hips are too big. It was God who blessed her with the practically webbed toe and strategically placed mole when he knit her together so carefully, so be sure to remind her.

You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.  Song of Solomon 4:7

God says you are beautiful. Your daughter is beautiful. The lady next to you on the bus is beautiful. The woman across the coffee shop counter is beautiful. And the one in the cubical next to you. Perhaps God wants you to tell one of his daughters how beautiful she is today. 

I pray that if you are a mama or not, that you would build up those around you. That you would instill a positive message of beauty on others. That you would not give in to putting yourself down as others around you may so easily do. I pray that you would stand your ground and hold tight to the beauty God has lavished on you. That you would build others up and reveal to them the beauty in themselves.

Here's to making sure she knows how beautiful she is and how God made her flawless. To more compliments and less put downs.

I spent most of my college career working as a barista. It was busy. Multi-tasking was a must. With twenty or more drinks to prepare on one slow espresso machine and forty tired eyes staring, eagerly waiting for their morning pick me up, it got a little crazy. 

These days, my busy time seems to be the five o'clock hour. When the clock strikes 5pm, it seems as if the entire house goes bananas. The baby cries. The toddler whines. Dinner on the stove starts whistling a burning tune and I stare at the mess that has accrued on the living room floor from the past hour of play time. Overwhelmed? Perhaps a bit.

I take a minute to digest it all and get a game plan going. The game plan has been more on the offense these days as this routine has brought itself about. The crock pot has become a good friend and earlier prepping has been the wisest of choices.

I know this is just a season and shall too pass but in the mist of of it all, it can be total chaos. I have to keep calm for the sake of everyone else and have a clear head to cook and feed and bathe and clean all by six. It's in these moments that this song becomes my anthem and my prayer:

If my heart is overwhelmed and I cannot hear your voice. I hold on to what is true, though I cannot see. If the storms of life they come and the road ahead gets steep. I will lift these hands in faith, I will believe. I'll remind myself of all that you've done and this life I have because of Your son.

Have a listen. 

It is in these moments that God grants peace and patience and somehow everything comes out okay and we arrive at six fed and clean and calm. It is in these moments that thankfulness has new meaning. No, I am not thankful to have the crying baby and whiny toddler but I am thankful they are there in the this moment that God has blessed me with them. And for their health and the ability to provide a meal for their hungry bellies. And for the little place we call home to shelter them from the heat and cold. Thankfulness takes over and as the song states, I'll remind myself of all that you've done and this life I have because of Your son. 

Everything I have is because of Jesus. Because he died. Because he loves me. It is in the crazy that prayers come to life and the bigger picture unfolds, if you let yourself see it. I pray that when you find yourself in the midst of the chaos and daily stress that God will whisper the little prayers of thanksgiving to your heart and the small reality around you will melt away with gratitude and joy. 

Here's to more thankfulness in the busy and more calm in the daily storms.

When I gave my life to Jesus, my fears vanished. There was nothing left to fear. If I were to die, I knew I was all set. I was concerned about those I knew who had not yet met Jesus but I knew his timing would be perfect and not to worry about it.

Then I found out we were expecting. Somewhere along the positive pregnancy test fear was conceived, too. I worried I would lose the baby. I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant until after the first trimester for fear of miscarriage. I had a hard time believing I was going to be a mama. Our home remained free of baby paraphernalia until a friend brought over a cute basket with bath soaps. The little basket seemed so out of place in our small apartment. I continued to stay clear of any baby purchases for fear our place would be scattered with the paraphernalia without a baby to go along with it all.

Days and weeks and months went by. I checked the What to Expect app practically daily, reading interesting stats and tips and stories shared by other mamas. Baby continued to grow. All the tests looked great. Doctors said everything was fabulous. But I had read somewhere that someone's baby had this and that and no one knew and things got overlooked. Random scenarios played themselves over in my head.

When I went to my 37 week appointment, my doctor told me everything still looked great and that baby could be making her debut any day. What?! had yet to do anything baby related. The room was littered with all the gifts from the baby shower the week before. The bumpers still needed sewing. Clothes and blankets needed washing. Decals were to be put up. But in the back of my mind, the horrible scenarios continued to play out.

On a Friday evening, our little baby girl entered the world. Perfect in every way. I was officially a mama. And what was this mama to do? Read up on everything baby related. Sleeping. Eating. Developmental skills. I drove myself crazy. I needed an intervention, really. Months of worrying over everything. Was she breathing? Did she poop yet? Is the jaundice finally gone? Was she getting enough to eat? How is eczema treated? Is that rash part of the eczema or something else entirely? Projectile vomiting?! Was she rolling over yet? Was I doing everything I need to make her successful? Because everyone knows an infant needs to succeed. I was in constant fear that something was not right. And the books were of no help. Each one tells you something different.

One day God finally intervened. Well, I am sure he tried before hand, I just was not listening. I closed the books. Stopped comparing her to every baby I met or read about. I let her just be. No more nap attempts. No more failed routines. No more expectations. No more worry. No more fear. Peace returned in full capacity. It is amazing what listening to God will do, isn't it?

I wish I would have truly given everything to God to begin with. Truly surrendered her to Him at her baby dedication. Trying to make sure nothing bad happens is a horrible spot to be in seeing it is clearly is impossible. And the fear and worry make everything else so much harder. It takes the joy out of life. Of being a mama. Knowing God was with me and had her in his hands is comforting and would have been great to actually be living it out and believing it. Thankfully, God gave me another go at the whole thing and let me know He was with me every step of the way and continues to remind me He is watching over them and me, covering me with more peace that I even thought possible. 

Pregnancy number two started with more bumps than the first. Our first ultrasound there was no heart beat to be heard. The due date was unsure, so the doctor proceeded to tell us it could be too soon or I could have miscarried. The response was not what I was expecting, yet I was at peace about it. I knew that God was in control this time. I did not let fear get its grip on me. We waited. Another week. This time we had already told our family and close friends the day we found out and now we asked for prayers for our little baby. For God to do His thing. We returned. Beating away, we saw the heartbeat on the monitor and listened closely to the sound. The sound of life. The sound of hope. The sound of answered prayers. The sound of peace.

At our twenty week appointment we had our in depth ultrasound to check for the usual things. They checked and looked and poked and wrote on a piece of paper the sex baby, so we could take it to a bakery and find out with our family together that night. That afternoon I got a call from the doctor's office telling me that I needed to come back in for more pictures. Nothing is wrong, they assured me. Just need more pictures. More waiting. More peace followed. More waiting. More prayers. Everything was perfect. 

Over a month before my due date, I was in the hospital with contractions every three to five minutes and dilated to a three. The nurse looked at me and told us nonchalantly, baby could be coming today. Today?! We asked for more prayers for baby. The contractions finally stopped and we returned home. Two trips later, we had a healthy boy born about three weeks early. Healthy and perfect and covered in prayer, which is why we concluded that Elijah was a perfect middle name. A man of prayer. 

I pray that if you are living with fear or worry, you would turn it over to Jesus. It is amazing what it can do and how God will show you how to trust him all the more. Perfect love casts out fear and when we trust God, we allow ourselves to bask in his unfailing love. I wish I would have been able to do that with my first pregnancy but God redeemed it with my second and for that I am thankful. 

Isaiah 41:10 is one of my favorites about fear, so I thought I would leave you with an 8x10 printable, just in case you need a reminder. Click on picture to download. It is a great one to have memorized when fear creeps in.

Here's to more trusting and less fear. More smiles and less worry. 

When I thought about becoming a mom I never thought about what it REALLY entailed and entered it blindly with visions of ruffled dresses and head bands dancing in my head. I had such a hard time coming to grip with the fact I was going to have a baby that the reality of  what it meant to have a baby hardly came to play. The fear of having a healthy baby overtook my thoughts of what motherhood had for me. I have been around children since I was one myself. I babysat, helped in children's church and just about anything else you do with kiddos. I really enjoyed it and never thought anything of motherhood except that one day I would enter in to it. Dirty diapers and teeny cut vegetables were easy enough.

Motherhood is nothing like I thought it would be. For that I am extremely grateful but a little heartbroken at the same time. As your wedding vows state: for better or worse, the same goes with having children. For better or worse. Better when they sleep through the night. Better when they listen to your request. Better when they tell you they love you as you kiss them good night. For worse when they throw themselves on the ground in public. Worse when bad habits like nose picking reveals itself. Worse when they tell you they do not want to listen in a not so nice tone.

The journey thus far.

Being a mom is about giving up more of yourself than you ever thought possible or ever really wanted to give to begin with. It is about learning to be consistent, yet knowing when to give in and give that last minute cookie before bed. It is about doing things out of your comfort zone all in the name of fun. It is about getting back to your roots and relearning what fun really is. It is seeing Jesus being lived out in the little lives of those he has given you for a short while.

Motherhood breaks you forever. It takes you to places you don't want to go and teaches you lessons you don't want to learn and forces you to truly rely on God. For comfort during the tough times. For thankfulness during the good times. For him to watch over them as they head out in to the world to do what he ever so carefully placed them here to do for a time such as this. For grace when you mess up. And trust me, you will mess up but thankfully you have grace to cling to!

Motherhood is a journey. A real adventure filled with toothless smiles and shrieks and piles of laundry and messy hair and snuggles and first laughs. It is a beautiful mess. It is something that changes you before you have a chance to see where it happened. Somewhere between the positive pregnancy test and the first cry there is a shift in your soul and motherhood hits you and God shows up to guide you.

Part of me wishes there would have been some class that really prepares you for this stuff. Tells you really how hard it will be and just how tired it is humanly possible to be. Takes you through it all and then asks you in a monotone voice: do you wish to continue?  Hmmm...do I wish to continue? 

Really, there is nothing that I would enjoy doing more than being a mama. It is not for the faint of heart but somewhere along the line, another switch is flipped and God makes you strong enough and brave enough and allows you to do things you never thought possible. To feel things you never thought possible. It is truly a little miracle wrapped in God's love and mercy. These are the tiny people God has given to you to love and to mold you and change you in to the person he has made you to be.