I met Julie and her friend, Jennifer in the hotel Starbucks when I attended the Allume Conference last fall. I ordered a drink and was planning on taking in the downtown view from the outside patio, soaking in just being there  across the country - childless, without any expectations and a God adventure on my sleeve (I have found it is easier to be open to these sorts of things when traveling alone, be to it to the grocery store or library or across the country, wherever it leads)  but as I waited for my name to be called, I started talking to Julie and Jennifer.

They invited me to enjoy the morning with them on the patio and I agreed. They were sweet and real and hospitable, even in an unfamiliar Starbucks. We spoke of God and life and our children and the fact we had no idea what we were doing at this conference, all as first time attendees but knew that this is where God was calling us to at this moment in time.

Julie is one of those easy to talk to people and real and deep and speaks with love and grace. Her heart is in each word she says and her authenticity is evident. She cares for her family and people and what God is doing in each person.

She shared about her book she was working on and we exchanged contact info, as we indulged in the last of our drinks and parted ways.

We have stayed in touch and she was gracious enough to share part of her journey in the Hearing God series at the beginning of the year. And now I am super excited to announce that the message that God has put on her heart to share, which is never easy to share, is being released today in her first book, No More Secrets: Set Free from Fear, Shame and Control by Discovering True Grace.

I was blessed with the privilege to get an advanced copy of the book a few weeks ago and read it through in one night. I love Julie's honesty and transparency to be herself and share issues that she has overcome through Christ. We do not all have the same struggles or the same fears but her message reaches past the actual struggle to the freedom from whatever is holding us back. Freedom that is found and rooted and Christ. Julie was sweet enough to let me pick her brain about her new book, so without further ado, here she is.

-interview-

How did God lead you in to compiling your experiences in to a book?

Writing is how I process. So during this year of intense struggle, I filled my journal with thoughts, prayers and examples of all God taught me through His Word. I started blogging again and shared some of my journey there. One day I was sitting at the computer and I heard the Lord say, Ok, I want you to compile it all. I thought about it for weeks, and I couldn’t shake the sense that I was to turn this journey into a book.

I didn’t know if compiling it was for my continued processing and healing or if it would one day be a published book. So I just kept taking the next step. When I finished compiling everything I had written during that year, and read over it all several times, I put it away for a few months, continuing to pray for God’s guidance.

One day the next step was clear: find an editor. I found a writers’ group nearby, and so decided to check it out. My first time there, I hoped to just observe, but quickly found out I was the only one with material to read. Before I started reading, I told the leader, “I feel like God is asking me to make this a book.  So I want you to tell me if you think it has that potential.” When I finished reading the first chapter, she confirmed, yes, this could definitely be a book.

On the way home, I was unable to contain the tears from spilling down my cheek, totally overwhelmed at what God had put in front of me. The publishing process itself made me want to quit so I tried complaining to God about how I can’t do this. After I finished whining, I remember Him saying, But do you trust me? I decided then, my job was to write and what happened after that was up to Him.

Now here we are. He provided a wonderful editor that challenged me and pushed me to be more specific about my struggles. He carved out time for me to focus on finishing this project and I look forward to seeing what He does with these words.

"We think our church friends only want to hear the good stuff. We think we need to be strong for them and not let them see us hurting. Now we don’t have to wallow in self-pity, but we can be real. We must be real. We all need a place to share our brokenness, our temptations, and ask for prayer and help to overcome.: (No More Secrets) How has letting go of your fears and shame changed your friendships and yourself as a friend?

It’s funny you ask about friends. Circumstances in my life have changed so much over the last year that it’s actually been a lonely time for me. That plus all the time behind the computer it takes to write a book, I feel like my personal friendships have suffered.

I will say that the year I wrote this book, I identified fear of man as a big stronghold in my life. I care about what people think of me and I hate it when my actions negatively affect someone else.  

Sometimes even our obedience can do that. The Proverb says “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” We sharpen each other while we walk out what we sense God asking us to do. God had to break this fear of man in me so I will look to His approval over the approval of my friends.  This has hurt a few friendships lately and been very difficult.

"I just have to trust Him. Words that are so much easier to write than actually live out each day. To just keep walking when the road ends takes faith." (No More Secrets) What does trusting God look like practically in your life now and how has that changed since you were younger?

I would say earlier in my walk with God I had a set of expectations of how, when, and where I wanted God to answer my prayers. I expected Him to do certain things and when He didn’t, I grew frustrated.

I’ve learned to turn my expectations into expectancy. He hears my prayers and wants to answer me. He just may not do it like I want, when I want. Expectancy knows He will answer, and is eagerly on the lookout for how that will play out.

How have you grown since writing the book?

Oh goodness, I’ve grown leaps and bounds in this whole process. Dealing with fear is an on going process for me, rather than a once-and-for-all done deal. It seems to come in waves, but I’m getting quicker at recognizing fear’s footprints and dealing with it before it paralyzes me.

What is your biggest take away for readers? 

As long as we walk this earth, we’re going to be tempted. Often this temptation comes in the form of what we thought we could never do. Temptation itself is not sin, but temptation is not something to take lightly or think we are strong enough to handle. It wants to destroy us!

I love my husband’s illustration I share in the book about living life in a round room. A round room has no corners. Everything must be brought to the center and dealt with. It’s much easier to handle difficult issues when we know exactly what we’re dealing with.

This topic isn’t talked about much in the Christian community, especially when it comes to thinking too much about the opposite sex. That’s almost taboo. My prayer is that we can find the courage to talk about these issues and get them in the light. I see affairs affecting more and more families and it all starts in the mind. We have to figure out how to handle our thoughts and the temptations Satan sets for us, otherwise they turn into sin and eventually death.

_____________________________________________________________________________

A special thanks to Julie for sharing her story. You can find more about Julie on her blog, Facebook page and of course in her book available on Amazon. 

The Allume conference has came and past. A whirlwind of take offs and landings, business cards and name badges, roommates and chocolates, speakers and an out pouring of encouragement.

When God calls you to the other side of the country, leaving your three children and traveling alone for the first time, it is quite an adventure and a constant reminder of his provision; Jehovah - Jireh. An entire exercise in trust, something God has been working on in me this year.

Trusting God to lead and for me to follow.

Trusting that whatever God had for me during this time, it would be just what he had planned.

Trusting that everything would be secure on the home front.

Trusting that I would make my flights and find the connections, despite my lack of direction and the playing of musical gates with the airlines as they decided which one was now best.

Trusting I would make it on the correct shuttle to the hotel and not on the one that stood waiting long before I was there.

Trusting my rotating roommates would be genuine and not on the creeper side.

And God came through. My husband rocked the home; complete with Chick-fil-a and night feedings. I made each flight, even though one was overbooked and my seat was TBD and I was the final person to board. The shuttle came on time, despite a delayed flight. My roommates were the sweetest women, more than I could have imagined. And peace lavishly covered each day and hour.

The speakers were authentic and held beautiful incites and truths but it was the conversations with women from across the US (and Canada) that sewed the conference together so eloquently, along with those on the planes and streets. The way God brought each one together at just the right moment. One Spirit lead conversation after another with threads only God could sew. Another reason to stand in awe and wonder at him. Life's trials and journey's exchanged; meeting one another as words formed pictures of days past, now redeemed and hemmed in hope and sent with encouragement. Seeing glimpses of the Masterpiece coming together this side of eternity.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

    and lean not on your own understanding; 
in all your ways submit to him,    
    and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6

This verse has been embedded in this year and a constant encouragement throughout the days for I could never understand it all.

Praying whatever you are holding in your hands that you would give it to the Lord. That you would trust he is working out everything for your good and know there is nothing you can do to slow it down or speed it up or work out. He is in control of even the smallest of things because he truly cares for you - his child. Praying your eyes would be opened to the areas where trust is lacking and that you would jump in with both feet covered in faith and radiating in his peace.

Here's to more trust and adventures. 

It was the first fire in our new apartment. We enjoyed hot cider and music as the flames danced over the logs, warming the small living room. As it died out, my husband, then boyfriend, discussed whether or not to close the flue on the fireplace. Having no idea on what the flue was, I had little to say on the matter and headed to bed after it was decided to close it.

Hours later, we woke startled to smoke alarms blaring. Jumping out of bed, my husband opened the door to our room, where nothing could be seen but clouds of smoke filling the hall way. Immediately he disappeared in to it, while I lay in bed trying to process the whole matter wondering if our apartment was up in flames and whether or not he was okay and what I should do.

Returning moments later, he let me know there was no fire, just smoke. Everywhere. Hard to breath, eye stinging, thick smoke covering everything. Windows and doors were opened and a sweet neighbor ran over letting us know he was a paramedic and asking if we were okay. We were in shock but okay we responded, as we turned on fans and stood on our patio in the wee hours of the night, smoke pouring out, with thankful hearts for the lack of flames and filled with new knowledge: always keep the flue open, even if the fire is out, for the smoke cannot be seen immediately or contained and comes before a fire.

And fires burn. They move in unpredictable ways, consuming anything in its path, only to acquire more.

Following Jesus is similar in its unpredictability and drawing others as the faith develops. There is something so contagious and exciting seeing someone passionate about Jesus and the life that he has redeemed. The way that it draws you nearer to him and you want the desires of his heart become those of yours.

Set a fire by Will Reagan is such a beautiful prayer for this passion and fire in our souls. Have a listen.

Set a fire down in my soul

That I can't contain that I can't control

I want more of You, God

It is not about comparing our walks with each other or what has God has done for this person or that person but thanking him for those blessings and testimonies and taking them as stones of remembrance of what he has been faithful to complete. 

Fires  shines out of the freedom that comes with truly accepting yourself as God has made you and moving towards the person you are to become through him. It is the hours and days turning in to a lifetime full of following the Spirit. 

Praying you would long for more of God, for more of the desires of his heart. Praying that as you navigate the waters as a follower of Christ that you would see the passions that God has placed within you and that you would seek God in those areas. That you God would reveal to you how to use your giftedness to further his kingdom, instead of using them to tear it down.

Praying that you would be set ablaze in hope and live in the freedom of the Spirit.

Here's to fires starting. 

At the beginning of the year, our two year old request of new carpet for our rental home was answered. Upgraded carpet that does not match the bedrooms (which turned out to make the installation easier) but that is besides the point. My husband had the day off and took our oldest out on grocery shopping adventures during the process and I stayed home with our crawler, confining him to the bedrooms.

As the old padding and carpet was taken out and the new ones put down, I was able to get to know the workers, who were impressively speedy and knew exactly what they were doing.

As the last of the carpet went down in the hallway, the gentleman blatantly asked, "How did you get all this?" This referring to our home and possessions. 

I was taken off guard and wanted to laugh - several thoughts going through my head at once. You mean all this second hand / free / nearly free stuff looks like something worth having?

And of course, he then followed it with, "You do not look very old."

Enter more head laughter. And thankfulness to God for some great genetics and grace to answer the age question for the millionth time. And then a quick flash back to a few months prior when another gentleman asked, "why are you doing this?" Why would I go out of my way to perform a random act of kindness to people I do not know and probably will not see again.

It was there in these split seconds that we all have a choice. We can shy away or we can could be honest. We can cover up our faith and take the credit for the hard work ourselves or we can praise God for his blessings.

"Because of Jesus," I awkwardly, practically blurted. "He's the only reason I have anything in my possession.  He's the reason I do what I do."

Before then, no one had questioned my motives so bluntly.

Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage--with great patience and careful instruction. 2 Timothy 4:2

Paul tells Timothy to share the gospel and be prepared. It is so easy to be caught up in our own to-do lists that we miss the opportunity to be fully present. We have not prepared or studied or it is too awkward and no one wants to offend. But you may be the person who plants a seed and points them to the truth and turns a sinner from their ways. The person who leads them to correction and openly rebukes in love and encouragement.

Praying that at the height of your success and the climb there, that you would give the glory to God. That he would be your reason for the goodness in your life and the motive behind why you do what you do. Praying that those you interact with daily or in passing would see the difference in you. That your joy would overflow and that you would always be ready with an answer for the reason of the joy that you have.

Praying you would have an opportunity to share your faith this week and that seeds would be planted and hearts would be opened and eternities changed.

Here's to pointing others to Jesus throughout your journey.  

The past few weeks, waiting has seemed nearly as long as it does to my four year old when I tell her she has to wait a few hours to go to a birthday party or one more day until a fun activity - it is never going to happen. The wait is long.

Though the waiting we have been doing is nothing serious, which almost makes it that much more frustrating. Our car was in the shop for nine days. Nine days! And our insurance would not cover a rental because it should not have taken that long (and we did not necessarily need it). Shipping the part does not count as labor time and according to the mechanic it was not to be driven. It seemed like an eternity. First world problems, I know. When you are used to life one way, it is hard to adjust and feels like nails on a chalkboard.

And then there were the court decisions and other questions for our foster baby, which we continue to wait on. I did not realize I was waiting until the day came and went and no outcome had been told. Surely we would know the outcome then. An expectation of knowing information instantaneously tends to be ingrained in us these days.

But throughout it, God reminded me nothing was out of his control. All the trivial waiting. It was all for him in his timing. It was not about waiting for the car to be repaired but waiting for him to give back the gift he had graciously given. All the while embracing the renewed appreciation for it. It was about learning how to wait patiently.

It was diving in to Psalm 40:1-3, line by line, in my annoyance and remembering God's hand in it all.

I waited patiently for the Lord;

(not hastily or angerly; not waiting for the decisions but for God) 
    he turned to me and heard my cry.

(He turns to us when we wait + hears us)
 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,

(God does the action; takes us out of distress / situation)
    out of the mud and mire;

(more bad stuff; bad stuff tends to come in bunches)
he set my feet on a rock

(takes us out of bad stuff to his solid ground -> building our testimony)
    and gave me a firm place to stand.

(God gives, God does ALL the actions here, while we wait PATIENTLY; firm place to stand: confidently trusting God, standing on his promises + words)
 He put a new song in my mouth,

(God puts new songs in us that he gives specifically during these waiting times; more appreciation for what you had, increasingly grateful + thankful for the GIFT!)
    a hymn of praise to our God.

(being able to praise God for being God; Praising for rescuing + restoring)
Many will see and fear the Lord

(Others see what God has done for you - how did you wait? Patiently? This causes good fear of God)
    and put their trust in him.

(Because of your waiting, others will trust God! God WILL use the waiting)

It was seeing how we are merely to wait patiently on the Lord. That is what we are called to do. God is the one doing everything else. He is turning + hearing + lifting. He is setting our feet on a rock and giving a firm place to stand. He gives the song to sing during the waiting and because of our patience, others see and put their trust in God.

It is such a beautiful picture of how God works. He works in the waiting period. He is working in you and in others. No matter how large or small the circumstance. You need only be still and be patient. 

Everlasting God by Christ Tomlin fits here. Have a listen.

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord

We will wait upon the Lord

We will wait upon the Lord

Praying you would wait and rely on God to do things in his timing, not yours and that he would give you the patience and strength to do so. Praying you would be flexible when the need arises and that you would allow God to figure it the details, which will most likely not be as you had planned. Praying you would let God lead and let go of frustrations regarding the situation and fully grasp flexibility and learn whatever is being taught.

Here's to more waiting and more patience. 

When my husband was called in to ministry, the first thing I thought of was our family and how this was going to change our dynamics, enter negative connotation here. When we first became Christians, one of my first thoughts was that I would never want my husband to be a pastor. It would be far too much work with little pay and too much strain on our family.

Would God call him in to ministry to negatively affect our family? No. Would my selfish desires say yes? Most definitely. It was a little death to my preconceived notions of our family unit and would it should look like.

Thus far in the process, it has looked like some late night classes and homework on weeknights that may bleed in to the weekends but ultimately, it looks like us sacrificing a little time together now, for benefits in to eternity. It is having God given boundaries and letting of our expectations. It is not guarding our family but welcoming others into it. 

I recently listened to a past sermon of Francis Chan's where he spoke about being "on mission with his family." He went on to say how his mission in life was to follow God's direction, not having his family be the primary focus, and in doing so, his family had a closer bond. He was not putting family down but rather elevating God before it. Idols can be found anywhere, especially in the family unit.

And I think that this is the point God has been bringing me to with my own. The point of ministry and life colliding. That is what life is all about. And not just for pastor's or their wives.

 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Deuteronomy 6: 6-7

As Moses was preparing the Israelites to enter the Promised Land, he reminded them to impress God's word on their children and talk about what he had done, that it would be impressed on their hearts. It was to be consumed in every part of their day and lives. Simply living out their calling to follow God daily. We are still called to do so, as well. Living out our faith and weaving it in to the ministry of our lives alongside our children. Truly showing them what it means to go and make disciples and how to share the Word and how to listen to God.  

Praying that your family would be driven by the passions of God and glued together through his Word and what it says to do. Praying that you would not be held back by thoughts of time lost while ministry and life is happening around you, while someone's eternity is being changed.

Praying your family would be a group of people built to spur each other on, stretch each other beyond measure, demonstrate love and forgiveness and encourage each other to follow God's will in to whatever ministry it may be. Praying that if you are not blessed with a family seeking the Lord together, that God would provide them in his own way - with a beautiful community for you.

Praying that whatever your family looks like that your goal would be to seek the kingdom first. That your hearts would be set on things above and God would raise each member up to bring up others who revere God, multiplying your family's legacy on earth and in to eternity. Praying that you would not get so focused on the small things that you lose out on the bigger picture things later.

Here's to family and ministry and God's will. 

My grandma is known for her spaghetti sauce and scrumptious salads. Friends and family adore her time in the kitchen spent simmering a batch on the stove, which perfectly accompanies all the fresh, colorful vegetables cut just the right size to fit in your mouth, smothered in her homemade dressing. It is a staple to our family and our kind of comfort food. I grew up with my mama's yummy, mastered version of the sauce and now that we are grown, each of my sisters and I have learned the recipe, putting our own twists on it, respectfully. And they are all quite tasty but truth be told, there is nothing like grandma's spaghetti and salad. I am sure it has to do with all the love she puts in it as she stirs and chops and the years she has to put in to perfect it.

Recipes and traditions and sayings and mannerisms span generations. Generations of the same last name and the same way the Christmas tree is decorated and how the Thanksgiving turkey is prepared continue to span over space and time.

The old Testament is scattered with generations and monuments of days long past and the stories and miracles behind them continued to be told long after they occurred. And the sole purpose of the monuments? To tell of the greatness of God.

After Joshua leads the Israelites in to the promised land, God instructs him to have twelve men from the tribes of Israel to pick up stones from the Jordan River, which they had just crossed over on dry land, to make a monument (Joshua 3-4). And I love how it states the reason directly after:

He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the Lord is powerful and so that you might always fear the Lord your God. Joshua 4:24

The entire purpose of the monument and miracle was for everyone to know the power of God and that they may fear him and then Joshua five starts off with how kings from the surrounding areas "hearts melted and they no longer had courage to face [them]."

People heard about what God had done and feared him. They saw what He was capable of doing. And our testimonies have the same power and purpose - to turn others to God and His glory. When we fail to share our testimonies, especially between generations in a family, there is a loss of wonder and awe in the almighty God. A loss of the tangibility and closeness of God's ever constant provision and guidance and healing power.

Praying that you would empty yourself of any pride or fear or worry and focus on bringing glory to God through your story. That you would share it when the time arises with whomever God leads you to. That you would have your monuments out on display for others to see the powerful God we serve. 

Here's to generations and telling and glory. 

My house is sprinkled with reminders of the little man who graced us with his presence for the past week. Bottles and baby toys and formula. After more than two years of starting the process of fostering to adopt and having to put it on hold and starting the entire process over, our home was officially certified two weeks ago. The whole process is interesting in it of itself. With the interviews and training and the compassion and grace that must take place to really be able to do it.

People often say they could never do it. But for me, it was not matter of whether or not I could do it but a matter of obedience to God and his calling on our family. It was reading through James and hearing God's confirmation that pure and faultless religion is taking care of orphans (James 1:27).

It was saying yes to opening our home to strangers and inconveniences and covering them in prayer and grace and truly believing that God is faithful.  

Fostering is so much more than taking in a child but taking in a piece of a hurting family. It is being a cheerleader and encourager for the parents to get the help they need and taking care of their precious child in the mean time, for however long God seems fit.

It is praying for redemption and salvation and seeing the roots of it firsthand.

It is committing to pray for the family long after the last bag is packed and good-byes are said, knowing full well that you may not see them again on this side of eternity.

It is pouring your heart out like a drink offering and being thankful that you can feel and love and give unconditionally, all in the name of Jesus.   

It is truly learning how to embrace today with open hands for whatever God has in store. Whatever call comes across your phone and being ready with a yes.

It is teaching your biological children that there is something bigger than just your family. That the world does not revolve around their soccer practices or recitals or piano lessons or appointments but around others, all in the name of Jesus. It is learning that sometimes they have to wait and how they are not the center of your world - God is - and living it out in front of them.

It is remembering that no matterhow our children came to us, whether by womb or through prayer and superfluous amounts of paper work, they are not ours. And not forever. And when it is time for them to go, being comforted that God is with them wherever it may be (Joshua 1:9). 

Praying that you would open your hearts and minds to the possibility of foster care or adoption and that if God has been leading you towards it, in any sense of the way, that you would be obedient and seek out the next steps and that God would be faithful to open the right doors and give you grace and love to pour out.

Praying that you would see past the stacks of papers and background checks and in to the hearts of God's children. Praying that you would see the need and that you would find a way to help in whatever capacity that it may be, whether through prayer or babysitting for a foster family or becoming one yourself.

Here's to impacting the world, one person at a time. 

By God's grace and guidance, we recently embarked on our first official family road trip, logging nearly 2000 miles. We sang and danced and snacked and slept and marveled at the works of God's hand as the numbers on the odometer ticked along. The beauty of traveling by car is the ability to see the terrain up close and admire the landscape God so intricately designed.

 With nothing but stretches of open road, it is hard not to worship. Especially when accompanied with sleeping children and blue skies interlaced with clouds and rolling hills and silence and quieting, praise and awe cannot help but fill the soul.  

 A change in scenery allows you to worship God in different ways. Seeing his creation shows you things about God you never imagined or could have.

The way he thought about the most intricate of things. How small we really are. How it all points to the bigger picture. How he knows each person in each car that passes on the road and resides in each town. How they were created to do great things. 

How there is more to life than us. Than pleasing our desires and fulfilling our needs. There's worship and praise and thanksgiving and standing in wonder at the work of God's hand. At the grains of sand at the beach and the pokey parts of a cactus and the green of the leaves on a tree. And how everything works together to fill the necessities of all creatures on the earth.

It's knowing that just as God created the most beautiful of things for our eyes to glance on and enjoy, that he made us in this same way but even more so. With more purpose and meaning. For we were made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27) and were made to rule over the land and everything in it (Genesis 1:26). We were given a hope and future (Jeremiah 29:11). We were made for good works (Ephesians 2:10) and have eternity written on our hearts (Ecclesiastes 3:11). All of which is incomprehensible.

And in our short time here, we are made to be imitators of Christ. To draw others nearer to him. To embrace each day with open hands and rejoice in it.

God You Reign by Lincoln Brewster fits well here. Have a listen, along with some worship.

Your glory shines, you teach the sun

When to bring a new day

Creation sings, God, Your reign

Praying that you would have eyes to see God in the creation around you. On your drive to work today or to the grocery store or to school. That you would seek out the works of his hands that he put there for you to enjoy on this very day. Praying that it would not be taken for granted but that you would enjoy it, as it too is fading away. Praying that you would praise him because you are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Here's to mountains and hills and open skies.  

Usually my husband is the pancake flipper. Cooking breakfast (and any other meal) is one of his specialties, which works out perfectly with my affinity for home cooked meals. This day, however, I took on the role as pancake flipper and was on my way to pancake perfection when my three year old questioned my flipping procedure that she had witnessed so many times before.

Why do the pancakes have to be flipped?

They must cook on both sides, I responded.

But why do the pancakes have to be flipped?

The batter only cooks on one side, so the other side has to cook, too. For the other side to cook, it must be flipped over, I reasoned with her.

But why do the pancakes have to be flipped?

She obviously did not understand the concept, despite showing her the difference between the raw side and the cooked side. She just saw the flipping. And something about the flipping intrigued her, so much so she could not see past it this particular morning. After the tenth time, I assured her I just had to do it.

 Why?

This word is intriguing. So much can come out of this three letter word. Why did he do that? Why did she have to go there? It can take you in to an analysis overload where questions outweigh reason and slightest look has you wrestling,

Why has been rolling around in my head lately. Why was the tree of knowledge in the middle of the garden? Why was sin allowed to enter our bodies? And why is the wage of sin death? Why the family unit comes after the fall of man?

Somewhere, someone has some theological answers with some sort of biblical backing. But I like to think of some fun reasons, too. And in the wonder and questioning and lack of understanding, God reminds me to be still (Psalm 46:10). To praise him because I do not understand because I was not created to know everything.

He knows the path of thunder and shut up the sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb and made the clouds its garment and wrapped it in thick darkness and fixed limits for it and set its doors and bars in place and said, ‘This far you may come and no farther; here is where your proud waves halt’? (Job 38).

Because he is God. He knows. He is ways are not our ways. We do not understand why the flipping and cooking occur though we watch it before our eyes as the minutes turn to hours and days pass by.

God Moves in Mysterious Ways by Jeremy Riddle fits neatly here. Have a listen.

God moves in a mysterious way

His wonders to perform.

He plants His footsteps in the sea

And rides upon the storm.

Praying that your whys or hows or whens would draw you nearer to God and that you would praise the Creator as you learn to trust him. That you would see glimpses of the bigger picture and stand in awe at the works of his hands. Praying that you would see the importance of the role that you play in His piece and how you have been created for a specific purpose (Ephesians 2:10).

Here's to questions that lead to worship and praise and admiration. 

Over the past year, God has opened my eyes to small things that I thought I trusted him with and made me realize otherwise. He has shown me how some responses have been rooted in fear, instead out of pure trust. These days, he reminds me to ask myself what my decision is based on before answering. If it is rooted out of fear - what might happen or the possible side effects - then it is not of trust or him. Good judgment is crucial and trusting God that if something were to happen that it is all in the palm of his hand. Entirely depending on him for the outcome.

It is small daily fears that so easily entangle. Yes, fears of heights and alligators and sharks may be typical but usually do not pose a daily threat, whereas the fear of a school shooting or car accident or failing at a presentation at work or school may hold you captive and instill an automatic no response. Fear of your child being at school during a shooting or not get the best education, so he is moved to another. Fear of your child being in a car accident with a loved one driving, so she stays home. Fear of not being able to meet work expectations, so you decline the promotion or project. Fear of people looking down on you, so you do whatever is required. Fear of the unknown. Fear of something outside of your control. These are little snares that so easily entrap you throughout the day that you may not have even noticed them.

Tis so Sweet by Jadon Lavik is a beautiful version this classic. Have a listen.

’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,

Just to take Him at His Word;

Just to rest upon His promise,

And to know, “Thus saith the Lord!”

It is sweet to trust in Jesus. And rest in his Word and his promises. To not have to worry about anything. Scripture has so much to say about trust and testimonies of those who have gone before us with the benefits of trusting God. Abraham trusted God to go to a new land. Moses trusted God to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. Noah trusted and built an ark. Trust is not something that happens over night. It takes time. It requires a giving up of yourself to be able to trust God. To gauge his dependency status. To give him a chance to come through or if you will have to do it yourself. To allow him the follow through.

Praying that you will put your complete trust in God. Praying that you would not lean on your own understanding of the situation because sometimes we are not meant to understand but simply follow in obedience. Praying that you would be conscious of what you are basing your decisions off of and that God would guide you to one that requires trust. Praying that trust in him would be built and would be a constant in life. Praying that fear would not have a grip on you and for trust to be embedded in your being.

Here's to decisions and less fear. Here's to more confidence in God.

Lemon is typically a flavor that you either love or cannot stand. For me, it is one of my favorite flavors  and its yellow rind has worked its way in to my favorite color category over the past few years because of its fun demeanor.

A sweet friend with a lemon tree brings them by for me when they are in season and the possibilities become endless. Lemon bars. Lemon meringue pie. Lemonade. A little lemon slice to perk up ice water - it's like a little burst of sunshine in a cup. 

The old adage, when life gives you lemons, seems appropriate to add here. It tends to have a negative connotation to it. Like lemons are a bad thing. Oh man, you got lemons again? Guess you better make some lemonade. It states things are not going as planned. There is a pot hole in the road or a detour or broken bridge ahead. And you now, you are forced in to juicing some lemons. You have an unplanned interruption and encouraged to make something out of the bad and ugly and unwanted in to something desirable and sweet and quenching. You have a choice - to keep the lemons as they are or make something with them.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

God is always working out the best for those who love him. He is always providing a way out and a solid foundation to stand, you just have to see it. He is working out the suffering for his good.

Homemade lemonade is a favorite beverage in our home. The key to making it perfect is melting the sugar in a pot of boiling water, eliminating any floating sugar particles, and then mixing it all together with the rest of the water and lemon juice, making sure not to add too much sugar as to over sweeten but just enough to still have a little kick. Just enough sweetness to accompany the sour.

Life is like that. You need just enough sweetness to accompany the sourness that comes your way. Smiles to overshadow the frowns. Compliments to overcome the putdowns. Surprises to outweigh the let downs. And for God to provide the sugar. 

This is where prayer comes in and resources. Prayer asking God to open your eyes to see the sugar through the situation. Through the illness or lay off or temper tantrum or traffic or foreclosure. Through the surgery or therapy. And to see the resources around you. The little grains of sugar and the overflowing spring of water.

Praying that whatever seems like lemons would be made into another testimony of God's faithfulness. Praying that your interruptions and detours would be seen as opportunities. That you would see God's favor resting on you throughout the situation in ways only he can work. Praying that you would see God's provision and resources around you and that you would have the wisdom to use them in accordance with his will.

Praying that you would drink in the goodness of God's promises, knowing that everything works together for those who are called according to his purposes.

Here's to lemons and prayers.  

Growing up with six brothers and sisters, the word "quiet" hardly describes the environment. It was noisy and loud and full of life exploding from all parts of the house. My room was a little sanctuary but it being shared with my younger sister, was never truly quiet either.

When I moved out on my own, the quietness was eerie. I moved in with my older sister and her boyfriend, both who worked opposite hours than me. No one was running around or invading my room with a dire announcement or pounding on the bathroom door because they really needed to use it. Naturally, I filled up the silence with music.

Over the past few years, God has shown me how to turn off the music and enjoy the silence. Especially the silence of sleeping babies. Silence. It is when your breath becomes the loudest thing your ears can hear and the beating of your heart reminds you that you are alive and God is not going to waste a single minute of your life.

God has reminded me to be still and know that he is God (Psalm 46:10).

It is in the quiet when the listening occurs. In the quiet is when the learning and wisdom and grace tend to heard all the louder because there is nothing else to hear. It is in this place, that the presence of God can almost be touched and God reminds you that this is holy ground and you will never be the same.

It is here that transformation begins and the spirit stirs and God's plan for you unfolds.

Praying that this week you would seek to find the quiet. That you would find a moment to stop the busy and chaos and just be. Maybe five minutes. Perhaps ten. Maybe more. Praying that you would get to a place of silence. Not reflecting or praying or lamenting. Just stillness. Pure quiet. Praying that your ears and heart would be opened to hear and feel. 

Praying that you would learn to listen and search and hear and know that God is there. Praying that his power and majesty and peace would transcend your understanding and guard your hearts and mind in him. Praying that you would embrace the silence that goes unnoticed amongst the noise of the day and truly enjoy the lack of motion or words or thoughts. And that in the midst of it that the presence of God would forever change you.

Here's to silence and listening with open hearts.