My house is sprinkled with reminders of the little man who graced us with his presence for the past week. Bottles and baby toys and formula. After more than two years of starting the process of fostering to adopt and having to put it on hold and starting the entire process over, our home was officially certified two weeks ago. The whole process is interesting in it of itself. With the interviews and training and the compassion and grace that must take place to really be able to do it.

People often say they could never do it. But for me, it was not matter of whether or not I could do it but a matter of obedience to God and his calling on our family. It was reading through James and hearing God's confirmation that pure and faultless religion is taking care of orphans (James 1:27).

It was saying yes to opening our home to strangers and inconveniences and covering them in prayer and grace and truly believing that God is faithful.  

Fostering is so much more than taking in a child but taking in a piece of a hurting family. It is being a cheerleader and encourager for the parents to get the help they need and taking care of their precious child in the mean time, for however long God seems fit.

It is praying for redemption and salvation and seeing the roots of it firsthand.

It is committing to pray for the family long after the last bag is packed and good-byes are said, knowing full well that you may not see them again on this side of eternity.

It is pouring your heart out like a drink offering and being thankful that you can feel and love and give unconditionally, all in the name of Jesus.   

It is truly learning how to embrace today with open hands for whatever God has in store. Whatever call comes across your phone and being ready with a yes.

It is teaching your biological children that there is something bigger than just your family. That the world does not revolve around their soccer practices or recitals or piano lessons or appointments but around others, all in the name of Jesus. It is learning that sometimes they have to wait and how they are not the center of your world - God is - and living it out in front of them.

It is remembering that no matterhow our children came to us, whether by womb or through prayer and superfluous amounts of paper work, they are not ours. And not forever. And when it is time for them to go, being comforted that God is with them wherever it may be (Joshua 1:9). 

Praying that you would open your hearts and minds to the possibility of foster care or adoption and that if God has been leading you towards it, in any sense of the way, that you would be obedient and seek out the next steps and that God would be faithful to open the right doors and give you grace and love to pour out.

Praying that you would see past the stacks of papers and background checks and in to the hearts of God's children. Praying that you would see the need and that you would find a way to help in whatever capacity that it may be, whether through prayer or babysitting for a foster family or becoming one yourself.

Here's to impacting the world, one person at a time. 

Children's bibles  are a great way to dive in to the story aspect of scripture and understand it in a simple manner. God uses them to speak not only to children - I have learned bunches as I have read them, as well. Penny received her first children's bible as a baby shower gift. Once she was old enough to sit long enough to look at pictures we read it to her. She accumulated a handful of favorite stories and we read them over and over and over. And the bible became well loved and warn and taped from reading it so much.

I love reading the bible with her but it gets a little old reading the same thing again and again and again, so we started looking for more options. I thought I would share some of our bible stash, if you will, just in case you need some options, too. We received some as gifts and found others second hand.

The Rhyme Bible: Growing up, I loved Roald Dalh and this has a Roald Dalh feeling to it. Fun and catchy phrases with intriguing sketched / water colored illustrations.

Alice in bibleland: Parallels the Through the Looking Glass concept of Alice in Wonderland but with bible stories and captivating rhymes. Each book is a difference story. 

The Beginner's Bible: Easily understandable bible stories with clear concepts and basic illustrations.

The Jesus Story Book Bible: More descriptive stories with entertaining illustrations. The artwork is more interactive (i.e. full page horizontal pictures) and great for discussing and interpreting.

Tiny Bears Bible: Charming, simple poems about bible stories for the little ones with adorable illustrations to represent them.

Praying that this gets you thinking about your child's spiritual formation, no matter the age. Praying that you would lead your child in studying the bible and that it would be a fun and memorable experience for you both. Praying that you would find materials suitable for your child that keeps questions coming and learning abounding. Praying that you would not dismiss the messages as you read, no matter how small or simple they appear; God's word is always there to teach.

Praying that you would make time to read and teach your child more about God's word if you have do not have routines set already. Praying that you and your child would see glimpses of God's glory as you learn and grow together in this adventure. Praying that the concepts learned would overflow in to your daily life and be engrained in the heart of your little disciple, God's masterpiece.

Here's to discipleship and reading and learning and growing with your child.  

As I sat listening to the telling of the Christmas story during my first pregnancy, my perspective on it was forever changed. And the Christmas following the birth of my daughter changed it even more. Seeing things from a mama's point of view tends to do that.

Perspective on logistical things, like traveling on a donkey during the third trimester of pregnancy. A donkey. I had issues traveling via car. And what about potty breaks?

Sleeping on the ground while nine months pregnant. No pillows?

The smell of the animals in the stable. I could hardly stand the smell of a fridge.

Giving birth in a stable. A. Stable. With. Animals. With your first child. Not knowing what to expect.

Mary was a champ. I know this is all silly but part of Mary's life and things I cannot even envision.

Then there is the emotional side of it. Giving birth to the Savior of the world was a pretty big deal. And the responsibility of raising him was, too. The love that Mary had for Jesus was different than that of anyone else. One of a mama. A chosen mama, who was with child before she was married. The love of Mary for Jesus is unimaginable.

There is nothing like the feeling of your baby being placed on your chest after birth and the first looks. The first official meeting of the one who has been wiggling and moving and poking around for months. But meeting the Savior of the world after carrying him for months and looking in to his little eyes and touching his little hands, that I cannot fathom.

You're Here by Francesca Battistelli really conveys this aspect of Mary as a mama. Have listen.

I don't know how long I'm going to have you for

But I'll be watching when you change the world

Look at your hands, they're still so small

Someday you're going

To stretch them out and save us all

Having a child is like having a little piece of God with you. God has given you his creation as a special gift. Whether through birth or otherwise. A gift none the less. A gift to raise and teach and mold. To give laughter and life. You do not know the length of the duration or what he or she will grow up to do but you have him none the less. You get a front row view to watch as he changes the world, little by little, with whatever God has made him to do. It can be daunting to think of the outcome of decisions you have to make while raising and all the what ifs or if you mess him up. But God has grace to give and wisdom to guide. And Mary was already in charge of raising the Savior of the world, so no pressure on you. 

Praying that this Christmas season you will look at the Christmas story a little differently, as well as your children. Praying that you would see the gift in each smile and laugh and all the learning and discipline. Praying that you would see the humanity of Jesus, our Emmanuel, God with us, as well as his glory. Praying you would truly enjoy mamahood this Christmas with gratitude and love. 

Here's to mamahood and Mary. Here's to the birth of Jesus. 

And just in case you missed the past few Music Monday Christmas edition and looking for some Christmas tunes, here they are:

A Hallelujah Christmas

Merry Christmas Everyone

There is something almost magical about the day you become a parent.  A certain amount of euphoria mixed with anticipation and joy beyond description. My oldest brother recently had his first baby, which got me thinking about the emotions entailed with this event.

Not knowing when baby will come is all part of the fun, whether via adoption or birth. These days, you get to plan practically neverything. But with babies, most do not get to chose the day of arrival. The excitement builds and the thought, today could be the day, emanates your thoughts. The biggest day of your life. More exciting than Christmas morning as a child. You patiently await the birth of your precious gift that God has graciously lavished on you.

The gift that will change your status to parent and will add family to your description. The gift that changes a room in your home to a nursery and sprinkles it with baby gear.

I cannot imagine how God feels when we turn to him. When we truly turn our hearts to him and become his son or daughter. The bible says that angels celebrate when one sinner turns from his ways (Luke 15:10).

It goes on to say that he has adopted us. We are his children.

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 1 John 3:1

As I was writing this, Matthew West's song, Hello, My Name is, ran through my head with that verse.  I know, another Matthew West song. He has amazing lyrics, and though he does not frequent my playlist often, the lyrics always stick. Have a listen.. 

Hello, my name is child of the one true King. I've been saved, I've been changed, and I have been set free. "Amazing Grace" is the song I sing Hello, my name is child of the one true King. What love the Father has lavished upon us, that we should be called His children. I am a child of the one true King.

The bond between a parent and child is great. How much more so with the creator of the universe who has so intricately made you? Since becoming a parent, my relationship with God has shifted and has allowed me to view him in a different light. Seeing that he really knows best. That he has the best plans there can ever be for my life. Seeing that discipline is necessary and not easy for either party involved. Seeing that my strengths and weaknesses are there for a reason and how to best use them. 

I pray that if you find yourself far from God, that you would see his out stretched hand and his big, warm, fatherly embrace to welcome you back. I pray that if you are a parent, that you would see your children as God views them, as well as yourself. You are unique and your relationship with your child and God is, too. 

Here's to adoption and returning to God the father. And parents and children and loveliness. 

As I wrote recently about seeing beauty in yourself, it made me think about a Women of Faith conference event I attended several years ago. Sheila Walsh spoke of witnessing her mom speaking badly of herself. She put herself down and was not happy with her own appearance and yet would compliment Sheila. The impact it made on her as a child seeing her mom so unhappy with her appearance was immense. I cannot recall all the details of it but the message is clear.

Putting yourself down in front of your child takes away from her seeing the beauty in herself, as she looks up to you for guidance.

Life happens in the moments, the little ones that you just about miss, with two little eyes watching you closely. The things you say and do become ingrained in to their memory and a part of who they are: the way you pronounce words, the way you comb your hair, the way you eat your food and the silly way you move your hands when you talk. All of your mannerisms, for better or worse, get compiled in these little people. Your own disciples. 

With my affinity for singing, bath time commemorates with my own version of the chorus from "I Feel Pretty," with Penny in my arms, gazing at ourselves in the mirror. I know, cheesy. It is one of those things that just happened and now simply cannot be missed, her in my arms and all, even though she is more than half my height. The fact that her baby bath was on the bathroom sink, with her mirror right there probably had something to do with it.

I think it is in these moments that children feel loved and know that they are valued. As a mama it is crucial to instill worth on your child, especially in a society that degrades women and is forced to compare themselves to fake, photoshoped ladies. The power of words play an important role. What you do not say may have more impact than what you. No mama wants to hear how her daughter cannot stand her shoulders or her hips are too big. It was God who blessed her with the practically webbed toe and strategically placed mole when he knit her together so carefully, so be sure to remind her.

You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.  Song of Solomon 4:7

God says you are beautiful. Your daughter is beautiful. The lady next to you on the bus is beautiful. The woman across the coffee shop counter is beautiful. And the one in the cubical next to you. Perhaps God wants you to tell one of his daughters how beautiful she is today. 

I pray that if you are a mama or not, that you would build up those around you. That you would instill a positive message of beauty on others. That you would not give in to putting yourself down as others around you may so easily do. I pray that you would stand your ground and hold tight to the beauty God has lavished on you. That you would build others up and reveal to them the beauty in themselves.

Here's to making sure she knows how beautiful she is and how God made her flawless. To more compliments and less put downs.

During a recent living room dance party, God reminded me of how Jesus tells us in Luke that "the kingdom belongs to such as these" (18:16). Who are the "these" he is referring to you might wonder? Children. The kingdom of God belongs to children. In Matthew he goes on to say "unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven" (18:3). As the music blared on the speakers and Penny jumped from the couch in to my arms, the lyrics to the song playing rang true: this is what you do, you make me come alive." She twirled and we spun and danced in a circle and the music filled the room. It was there that God continued to show me glimpses of his glory that he put in this little girl that he made and gave her to me for a short time. In doing so, God has used her to make me come alive in ways that I never thought possible and continues to do so.

Here, have a listen:

The more that I hang out with my kiddos, the more that I see how true these statements are and the more God opens my eyes to see what Jesus was talking about in the verses. For the past three years I have been blessed to be the mama to one passionate little girl and a sweet little man who God has been using to teach me about his character and various other small lessons scattered amongst my days.

When you look at a child, there is so much life and so much joy compiled in to one teeny, tiny person that it is hard to believe it is contained so well and somehow does not burst outward. Somewhere over the years as bones grow and the baby fat disappears, joy is lost and complacency sets in. It is there that childhood is no more and the slogan "life is hard" may ring true. 

Finding Jesus makes you come alive, no matter the age. He awakens things in you that you may have thought were long over. You may find yourself enjoying things you did not think possible. Jesus has a way of awakening your soul and even returning you to that state of childhood euphoria and wonder and awe at everything around you. Like looking at your hand. Have you ever witnesses a baby examining his hand? The excitement and wonder found in something that he will most likely take for granted every day of his life. I pray that you would come alive and experience life through the eyes of a child with more anticipation and bliss than you have known.

Here's just a few tidbits about attributes of children that God has opened my eyes to lately, and I thought I would share:

• They have a boldness about them, even the shy ones. They are confident and secure with themselves.
• Passion for what they are doing radiates from them. Even after you give them a time warning to end the activity it can still be hard to pull them away.
• They act the same in public and at home. They not afraid to be themselves. They do not care about what others are doing or comparing, they are simply happy to boldly be themselves. 

Yes, they are super simple but the simplest things make the biggest impact. Here's to truly coming alive in Christ and seeing the world through the eyes of a child. 

When I gave my life to Jesus, my fears vanished. There was nothing left to fear. If I were to die, I knew I was all set. I was concerned about those I knew who had not yet met Jesus but I knew his timing would be perfect and not to worry about it.

Then I found out we were expecting. Somewhere along the positive pregnancy test fear was conceived, too. I worried I would lose the baby. I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant until after the first trimester for fear of miscarriage. I had a hard time believing I was going to be a mama. Our home remained free of baby paraphernalia until a friend brought over a cute basket with bath soaps. The little basket seemed so out of place in our small apartment. I continued to stay clear of any baby purchases for fear our place would be scattered with the paraphernalia without a baby to go along with it all.

Days and weeks and months went by. I checked the What to Expect app practically daily, reading interesting stats and tips and stories shared by other mamas. Baby continued to grow. All the tests looked great. Doctors said everything was fabulous. But I had read somewhere that someone's baby had this and that and no one knew and things got overlooked. Random scenarios played themselves over in my head.

When I went to my 37 week appointment, my doctor told me everything still looked great and that baby could be making her debut any day. What?! had yet to do anything baby related. The room was littered with all the gifts from the baby shower the week before. The bumpers still needed sewing. Clothes and blankets needed washing. Decals were to be put up. But in the back of my mind, the horrible scenarios continued to play out.

On a Friday evening, our little baby girl entered the world. Perfect in every way. I was officially a mama. And what was this mama to do? Read up on everything baby related. Sleeping. Eating. Developmental skills. I drove myself crazy. I needed an intervention, really. Months of worrying over everything. Was she breathing? Did she poop yet? Is the jaundice finally gone? Was she getting enough to eat? How is eczema treated? Is that rash part of the eczema or something else entirely? Projectile vomiting?! Was she rolling over yet? Was I doing everything I need to make her successful? Because everyone knows an infant needs to succeed. I was in constant fear that something was not right. And the books were of no help. Each one tells you something different.

One day God finally intervened. Well, I am sure he tried before hand, I just was not listening. I closed the books. Stopped comparing her to every baby I met or read about. I let her just be. No more nap attempts. No more failed routines. No more expectations. No more worry. No more fear. Peace returned in full capacity. It is amazing what listening to God will do, isn't it?

I wish I would have truly given everything to God to begin with. Truly surrendered her to Him at her baby dedication. Trying to make sure nothing bad happens is a horrible spot to be in seeing it is clearly is impossible. And the fear and worry make everything else so much harder. It takes the joy out of life. Of being a mama. Knowing God was with me and had her in his hands is comforting and would have been great to actually be living it out and believing it. Thankfully, God gave me another go at the whole thing and let me know He was with me every step of the way and continues to remind me He is watching over them and me, covering me with more peace that I even thought possible. 

Pregnancy number two started with more bumps than the first. Our first ultrasound there was no heart beat to be heard. The due date was unsure, so the doctor proceeded to tell us it could be too soon or I could have miscarried. The response was not what I was expecting, yet I was at peace about it. I knew that God was in control this time. I did not let fear get its grip on me. We waited. Another week. This time we had already told our family and close friends the day we found out and now we asked for prayers for our little baby. For God to do His thing. We returned. Beating away, we saw the heartbeat on the monitor and listened closely to the sound. The sound of life. The sound of hope. The sound of answered prayers. The sound of peace.

At our twenty week appointment we had our in depth ultrasound to check for the usual things. They checked and looked and poked and wrote on a piece of paper the sex baby, so we could take it to a bakery and find out with our family together that night. That afternoon I got a call from the doctor's office telling me that I needed to come back in for more pictures. Nothing is wrong, they assured me. Just need more pictures. More waiting. More peace followed. More waiting. More prayers. Everything was perfect. 

Over a month before my due date, I was in the hospital with contractions every three to five minutes and dilated to a three. The nurse looked at me and told us nonchalantly, baby could be coming today. Today?! We asked for more prayers for baby. The contractions finally stopped and we returned home. Two trips later, we had a healthy boy born about three weeks early. Healthy and perfect and covered in prayer, which is why we concluded that Elijah was a perfect middle name. A man of prayer. 

I pray that if you are living with fear or worry, you would turn it over to Jesus. It is amazing what it can do and how God will show you how to trust him all the more. Perfect love casts out fear and when we trust God, we allow ourselves to bask in his unfailing love. I wish I would have been able to do that with my first pregnancy but God redeemed it with my second and for that I am thankful. 

Isaiah 41:10 is one of my favorites about fear, so I thought I would leave you with an 8x10 printable, just in case you need a reminder. Click on picture to download. It is a great one to have memorized when fear creeps in.

Here's to more trusting and less fear. More smiles and less worry. 

When I thought about becoming a mom I never thought about what it REALLY entailed and entered it blindly with visions of ruffled dresses and head bands dancing in my head. I had such a hard time coming to grip with the fact I was going to have a baby that the reality of  what it meant to have a baby hardly came to play. The fear of having a healthy baby overtook my thoughts of what motherhood had for me. I have been around children since I was one myself. I babysat, helped in children's church and just about anything else you do with kiddos. I really enjoyed it and never thought anything of motherhood except that one day I would enter in to it. Dirty diapers and teeny cut vegetables were easy enough.

Motherhood is nothing like I thought it would be. For that I am extremely grateful but a little heartbroken at the same time. As your wedding vows state: for better or worse, the same goes with having children. For better or worse. Better when they sleep through the night. Better when they listen to your request. Better when they tell you they love you as you kiss them good night. For worse when they throw themselves on the ground in public. Worse when bad habits like nose picking reveals itself. Worse when they tell you they do not want to listen in a not so nice tone.

The journey thus far.

Being a mom is about giving up more of yourself than you ever thought possible or ever really wanted to give to begin with. It is about learning to be consistent, yet knowing when to give in and give that last minute cookie before bed. It is about doing things out of your comfort zone all in the name of fun. It is about getting back to your roots and relearning what fun really is. It is seeing Jesus being lived out in the little lives of those he has given you for a short while.

Motherhood breaks you forever. It takes you to places you don't want to go and teaches you lessons you don't want to learn and forces you to truly rely on God. For comfort during the tough times. For thankfulness during the good times. For him to watch over them as they head out in to the world to do what he ever so carefully placed them here to do for a time such as this. For grace when you mess up. And trust me, you will mess up but thankfully you have grace to cling to!

Motherhood is a journey. A real adventure filled with toothless smiles and shrieks and piles of laundry and messy hair and snuggles and first laughs. It is a beautiful mess. It is something that changes you before you have a chance to see where it happened. Somewhere between the positive pregnancy test and the first cry there is a shift in your soul and motherhood hits you and God shows up to guide you.

Part of me wishes there would have been some class that really prepares you for this stuff. Tells you really how hard it will be and just how tired it is humanly possible to be. Takes you through it all and then asks you in a monotone voice: do you wish to continue?  Hmmm...do I wish to continue? 

Really, there is nothing that I would enjoy doing more than being a mama. It is not for the faint of heart but somewhere along the line, another switch is flipped and God makes you strong enough and brave enough and allows you to do things you never thought possible. To feel things you never thought possible. It is truly a little miracle wrapped in God's love and mercy. These are the tiny people God has given to you to love and to mold you and change you in to the person he has made you to be.