words & conversations

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5:00 AM
I have found myself loving deep conversations. So much time has been spent in small talk that it just feels empty and void. Really getting past how are you doing. I am not looking to tell my life story or pour out my heart ache or hear you express every minute detail. More like embracing life and real beauty and feelings. Feelings have always been hard for me. Surface level is always so easy and nonchalant. It rolls of the tongue and pairs well with a smile. It fills the space and consumes a five minute window well. But it lacks depth and passion. It skips past emotion and feelings.

So often we go through life guarded and on edge with walls built up to the skies, when what we need is to crumble. To be genuine. To be authentic. To find ourselves in how we really feel, wearing parts of our heart on our  sleeves. It is asking for prayer during trials or wisdom for a new endeavor. It is changing your facade to reveal how you are really doing. It is hard and messy and can be uncomfortable. It may be said over tears or through bursts of laughter. It is life. It is beautiful. It is real.

My sister was in a car accident recently and suffered traumatic brain injury. She is still recovering. She has head aches and delayed speech, which has greatly improved. She has new anxiety and random bursts of crying. As we have talked, she has been apologizing for getting emotional over nothing, to which I responded how in awe I am of her expression - whether willfully exposed or due to measures beyond her control. There is beauty in sharing and exchanging what you are feeling; An openness that cannot otherwise be given.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 2:17

Jesus was real. Jesus did not waste any words. He used them to heal. To save. To give life. To fulfill prophecy. He was passionate and expressed how he was feeling; he openly cried (John 11:35).

Deep conversations allow growth and give God an opportunity to work in others through you. It allows for connections and common ground to be shared. It gives understanding in situations and healing in others. It helps clear your mind and reveals new incite.

Whatever you are lead to say or to share, I pray that you would bring glory to God. That you would see Jesus' example and be able to live through his teaching and love.

Praying that you are able to find the words to speak with whomever the Holy Spirit leads you to. That you would be open and transparent and find encouragement and refreshment. Praying that you would exchange more than a few redundant words as you go about your day but that you would make an effort to listen and intentionally interact with those God has placed around you.

Here's to real conversation and less idle chatter. More expression and depth. 
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